Greetings from Colorado! I am currently on vacation, my first in well over a year. I am enjoying the fresh air, change of scenery, and catching up with my brother, Joe.
Time off and down time are very important to me. I am writing this post one year from the day I graduated Saint Joseph’s University. I will never forget the stress of how busy I was while working full time, going to school full time, writing, and co-editing a collection of short stories. It really scarred and changed me and never again will I allow myself to take on so much at once.
There definitely seems to be a glorification of busy in our culture, as if prizes are handed out for those who work the most hours or go on the least amount of sleep. If you’re not busy all the time, then somehow that seems to imply negative things about your character, like you’re not motivated or successful. When asking someone how they’re doing, how often does the response include the words ‘busy’ or ‘tired’ or some variation of both? I hear it all the time. I know that I was busy and tired for two years. My prizes were depression, frustration, weight gain and complete and utter burnout.
This year I have made a conscious effort to limit my use of those words. It hasn’t been that difficult because I no longer feel tired and busy all the time. Sure, there are pockets of stress and times when a lot is going on, but my perspective is different now. I still keep busy, but everything I do is by choice and the deadlines are self-imposed and I am in control over what I do and when. Doing things out of obligation is stressful, but doing them out of choice is passion. It makes a world of difference. I was explaining to my oldest brother the other day how I am keeping busy, but I wished there was another word for it. He said, “Full. Your days are full.” “Exactly!” I said.
So many people fear or look down upon doing ‘nothing’. But it is impossible to ever be doing nothing! There is this sense of shame and regret in doing ‘nothing’, but even if you’re laying on the couch, vegging out, marathon-watching Netflix, you’re not doing ‘nothing’. You’re resting – giving your mind and body a break. We don’t say we’re doing ‘nothing’ when we practice meditation, sitting in silence, trying not to think. Reading a magazine or napping are forms of meditation for some people. It recharges you. Sitting around chatting isn’t doing ‘nothing’, either. I needed to remind my brother of this last night when he said he wished there was something we could do. I was having a good time doing what we were doing.
We need this down time. Napping, vegging, reading for pleasure, hobbies, laying in a hammock watching the clouds even though there are dishes in the sink and you have 50 unread e-mails is important. So many of us put the things we really want to do at the bottom of a massively long to-do list and consider them our reward for finishing that list. But if you’re like me, there have been many times that by the time you got to the bottom of that list you were too tired to do what you wanted to do just for you.
Resting is not a form of laziness. It is necessary. In fact, I would argue that rested people are more productive. I consider myself very productive with a balanced work/home life. I am the happiest and most fulfilled I have been in a very long time.
My advice to you, coming from someone who knows, take downtime. Let’s stop the glorification of busy and feeling guilty about times when we aren’t producing. We’re not machines. There is so much pleasure in looking up from work and obligations. It’s time we realize that almost everything in life can wait a day or at least a few hours, so that we can take a few hours for ourselves.
Make yourself a priority on your to-do list. Remember, it is impossible to ever do nothing.
Enjoy your well earned vacation, Jessica.