Minimizing Clothing Using the KonMari Method

Earlier this year I started downsizing my possessions. I purged my home of 902 items over two months playing The Minimalists minimalist game. It was a great experience, which you can read about here. I thought I had rid my home of everything expendable. But considering I just sent over 100 articles of clothing off to charity this morning, I realize I was wrong. That is thanks to the KonMari method of minimizing.

I had heard about Marie Kondo’s book, The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up, but didn’t read it. I was the Minimalist Master! I didn’t need any help. But then my good friend, Kathy started reading and raving about it.

“I did the whole minimalism thing. I’m good,” I said.

“This is different,” she said.

If you’ve been reading this blog for any amount of time, you know by now that Kathy knows what she’s talking about. So I bought the book.

Different, indeed! Expanding on the minimalist game, I decided to tackle purging yet again asking the question at the center of the KonMari method from the book: does this bring me joy?

The question never occurred to me. Looking around my bedroom, I realized I was surrounded by things that didn’t bring me joy. How could I ever hope to be happy?

Addressing Clothes that Don’t Fit

Following the KonMari method, you begin with clothing because it’s supposed to be easiest.

For me, getting dressed is incredibly frustrating. So much that there were times I canceled plans, rather than continue fighting with what to wear. Many mornings have been ruined and I’d wind up in tears, barraging myself with insults. Sounds sane and peaceful, right? This is because 75% of my clothes don’t fit me. Yes. I did the math. I refuse to accept my size the way it is right now (and has been for two years) so I only buy clothing that is absolutely necessary and instead choose to squeeze into things, and surround myself with clothes that simply do not fit no matter how much I suck in my belly. Is it any wonder I often don’t feel good about myself?

In a wonderful act of serendipitous timing, Kathy asked to spend the night since we had a work event early the next morning. We had been watching YouTube videos on vertical folding (you really want to start folding your clothes this way), so I asked if we could get some practice in while tackling my t-shirt/shirt drawer. We were probably more excited than most people should be to sort and fold clothes, but then again that is the magic of this method.

I explained to Kathy all about the clothes that don’t fit, a problem not mentioned in the book, so we had to improvise. “Put everything that sparks joy, but doesn’t fit, in a pile. We need to put them all away elsewhere,” she said.

“But won’t it be more motivating to see all the shirts that don’t fit?”  I asked.

“No, I don’t think so. You need to see all you really have and sit with that,” she said. Sitting with things has been a consistent message that pertains to more than just clothing.

We got to work. When we had finished, I looked at the mountain of shirts that didn’t fit, and then the tiny pile that did.

“That’s nothing!” I said, giving the tiny pile a shove. “I have no clothes now!” I shouted, frustrated.

“Sweetie, it’s all you had access to anyway.”

She was absolutely right.

Addressing the Emotions we Assign to our Clothes

Sorting and getting rid of clothes is an emotional process. I couldn’t have done it without Kathy. She asked the tough questions and reminded me to express gratitude. Holding every single shirt in my hands, I’d sigh at times and say, “I loved this shirt. But I don’t think it’s who I am anymore.”

“Then thank it for the good times you had in it and send it on its way.”

“Now this shirt! I had an amazing night in this shirt. I can’t possibly get rid of this,” I’d say.

“Does the memory exist without the shirt? Does getting rid of the shirt mean it didn’t happen?”

I confessed there were a lot more clothes already stored in my basement that didn’t fit. “Bring them up!” she said, excitedly. We were on a roll.

Most people’s hiking packs contain a tent, sleeping pad, pots, etc. Mine contains 50 plus pounds of clothing that is too small for me. I should strap it to my back and hike until they fit.

I took out each and every item. “You know I just did this in February, right?” I had gotten rid of so much stuff that was either out of style or didn’t suit me anymore during the minimalism challenge. But that’s why the KonMari method is so great – it takes minimalism and purging to a deeper level. Holding each article in my hands I asked if it sparked joy. So many pieces didn’t. I found that many simply represented someone I wanted to be. Not just a thin woman, but someone who wore flowing sun dresses on the beach. And again, this is why I suggest you have a dear friend’s help.

“Sweetie, you can lose weight, but your body will never be the shape required to wear that, just like I will never be able to wear maxi dresses.” (Kathy is quite short.)

Wordlessly, I’d toss her item after item to add to the goodwill bag.

Vertically Folding all that Remained

Finally came time for the fun part – vertical folding! No, I’m not crazy – folding can be fun (we discovered)! No more stacking shirts. Now everything is folded, finding the sweet spot where it stands on its edge on its own, so I can see everything, just like the spines of books on a bookshelf. It’s been so good for me to open a drawer that used to overwhelm me and now only find the options I have access to.

There was enough room to combine long and short sleeved shirts!

I tackled more drawers on my own since Kathy was over. My jeans drawer was crammed with over a dozen pairs. Guess how many I can currently wear? Three. I went through the remaining jeans and packed them away with the other clothes that bring me joy, but don’t fit. I then tackled my pants/shorts drawer. Once discarding and packing away what doesn’t fit, I realized I didn’t need two separate drawers. This is now my pants/jeans/shorts drawer containing three pairs of jeans, one pair of shorts, and two pairs of pants that don’t require a hanger.

So much room! If only my waistline could say the same.

 

I’m trying! You can tell by this collection of workout clothes!

Final Thoughts on the KonMari Method

I am convinced. If you think you don’t have enough room, you really just have too much stuff. Ask yourself, really, does this (insert any object here) bring me joy?

For some people, parting with inherited items, collectibles or mementos will be the hardest part. For Kathy, it was her son’s baby things. For me, it was clothes. This isn’t just about getting rid of things or tidying. It is about shedding that which no longer serves you or holds you back or maybe even keeps you from accepting who you are.

“The space in which we live should be for the person we are becoming now,” Kondo writes. “Letting go is even more important than adding.”

For the first time in my adult life, getting dressed is not an upsetting obstacle. Everything I see fits me and brings me joy. Today I wore a dress I haven’t worn in 15 months, patterned hose, heels and lipstick. I have been getting compliments all day long and I feel good about myself.

This is all part of the journey to a simpler, happier life and I am telling you, this step was magical. I highly recommend you pick up this incredibly appropriately named book, because it really is life-changing.

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