A couple weeks ago something really upsetting occurred. Without going into details I will say that it was unsettling and stressful and caused me a great deal of anxiety and anger. Surely you can retrieve something from your memory that made you feel this way, or perhaps you’re feeling that way right now. If so, you have my sympathy and empathy. It sucks plain and simple.
What sucks even more is when we don’t use our tools to help us deal with upsetting incidents. In the wake of this drama, I gave all my power away to negative emotions. Losing my power affected every single area of my life: home, work, socially… it affected me mentally, financially, and physically.
This is what happened:
I took a personal day from work.
I was so upset I couldn’t bear to get out of bed. I allowed my emotions to overpower my sense of responsibility.
I didn’t meal plan or cook.
I allowed my emotions to overpower my desire to stay on track with my diet and eat healthily. This had a tremendous ripple effect. Because I didn’t meal plan, I didn’t shop. Because I didn’t shop, I didn’t eat breakfast most of the week. I always eat breakfast. I had to buy several lunches and dinners I hadn’t budgeted for, which left me over-budget. Many of those meals weren’t as healthy as they would have been had I made them myself, so I consumed many more calories and ended the week having gained weight.
I slacked off on personal hygiene.
Gross, right? I didn’t wash my face or brush my teeth some nights before bed. I didn’t shower two (nonconsecutive) mornings.
Practicing good personal hygiene is one of the most basic ways we care for ourselves. When we’re depressed or upset, it’s one of the first things to go out the window because we simply don’t care enough.
I didn’t exercise.
This required way too much energy; energy my emotions and tears ate for breakfast since I didn’t give them any most mornings. This also cost me an unbudgeted $15 since I use GymPact and put money on the line every week to motivate me to get all my workouts in.
I was unproductive.
I accomplished only the most essential tasks and allowed a side project to get a week behind. My house turned messy and I felt disorganized and my mind cluttered.
My power went away on a full 6-night, 7-day vacation and left no contact information. Upon its arrival back home, she opened the door, rested and tan, and surveyed the damage, stunned at the mess she found me in. “Where were you!” I shouted, tripping over pizza boxes in my rush to greet her.
For a brief moment, I blamed the upsetting incident for taking my power away in some sort of kidnapping incident. But the truth is, I gave it away and I take full responsibility for that. Everything turned around once I had my power back. Now I sit, reflecting on an empowering, healthy, and productive week, my power at my side, and I am amazed at how easily I let her leave and all that I allowed to happen (or not happen) in her absence.
Next time, and I’m sure there will be a next time because ya know… life, I won’t give my power away so easily. I need her to keep me focused and strong, and she’s more important than any bout of drama I may face, regardless how upsetting. Because my power is permanent and lives within me, no one can take her away from me.
What sort of trouble do you find yourself in when you allow your power to run off? How do keep it from leaving in the first place? I’d love to hear from you.
This happens to me too and it does mess with my eating right. I usually pull back for a bit, but I don’t feel guilty. You shouldn’t either because we are bombarded with too much world and it’s okay to hide.
Thank you, Marie. Your post really spoke to me and I will continue to work on that feeling of guilt. xoxo
Hi Jessica,
I can certainly relate to giving my power away, I’m sure most people can. I tend to shut down in multiple areas of my life for a few days as well. It really sucks when we’re in the middle of it, but when we come out there’s always that opportunity to investigate what happened and make a new plan for next time, just as you did with this post. I love what you said here: “my power is permanent and lives within me” so true!
Thank you so much fro reading, Dave, and for your thoughtful comment. Yesterday was another not so great day but I was more aware of it and today I put in extra effort to “show up” by dressing nice and styling my hair, which I seldom do haha. It totally worked.
This post really struck a chord with me. (All you posts do). I’ve been allowing myself to be in a rut the past few weeks, and found that I’ve gone deeper, and deeper into a hole I can’t seem to climb out of. I am glad you’ve found your strength to rein back in you power. I am slowly building mine too. Your power bowl posts on Instagram have been helping me.
Hi Mieke, I am sorry to hear you’ve been in a deep rut. I understand all too well. This week’s post will be all about the things I did in order to regain my power (and includes more photos of the breakfast bowls). I hope that it will further inspire you. But listen to your body; it may just need a good long rest and maybe even a good cry. It’s okay to “cocoon” as Marie says. I do hope you find your power and strength soon, though. Take care of yourself and reach out to someone (or me) if you continue to have trouble bouncing back. ((Hugs)) P.S. I love that you called them “power bowls.” I am so calling them that for now on!!