We all have relationships with difficult people. By difficult, I mean people who are in some way toxic: self-centered, arrogant, ignorant, judgemental, needy, play the role of the consummate victim, inconsiderate, bossy, dishonest, or insert any number of negative personality traits here, or heaven forbid, a combination of them all. Of course you know at least one. Although a lot of people advise us to cut negative people from our lives, it’s not often feasible or realistic. Sometimes the most we can do is learn how to deal with challenging people as best we can and try to protect ourselves in the process.
I’ve been dealing with one difficult person in particular for a long time. I still experience anxiety, anger, frustration, and distress as a result of this relationship. For the record, I’m not passive. I have tried defending myself and speaking up when I feel I’ve been wronged. I’ve learned though that when it comes to certain people, this gets me nowhere. My reaction, no matter how practiced or collected, only makes things worse. That’s because problem people love a reaction and don’t respond to reason. Never once have I succeeded with words when it comes to these people in my life. All we can do when it comes to people like this is try to enforce healthy boundaries and remember that their negativity has nothing to do with us.
This is hard! When someone makes accusations about me or my life, or directs their anger and frustration at me, it is really hard to remember that it has nothing to do with me. That’s when I turn to these quotes to help me remember.
Bookmark these quotes or print them out. Let them help to remind you the next time you are faced with a difficult person that their behavior is not to be taken personally.
Jessica, it sounds like you really understand what it’s like to live with someone who has a toxic personality. I actually have a couple people in my life like this who you can’t just walk out of their life (like you said). I love these quotes!! It’s hard to keep remembering that it is them and not me. I try to focus on the good parts of these people, but on those tough days, these quotes will really help. Thanks for sharing!
Hi Jill, you’re very welcome. The toxic person I had in mind when I created this post several years ago actually passed away. It’s been an opportunity for me to practice compassion toward her and try to understand why she behaved the way she did. Most people are simply operating from ego and pain-body. I really should do a follow-up post on that… thank you for writing.