Time We Break Our Own Rules

We all abide by certain rules. Some are mainstream or fairly common and passed down through the generations like gospel, such as no swimming for thirty minutes after a meal. Some are specific to family, like certain bedtime rituals that left unperformed result in restless nights. And some rules are individualized, conjured from something we saw, heard or read that resonated on a deep and personal level. But when rules are too rigid, we forget to question them, and that’s when we can unnecessarily become bound by misinformation or habit.

I’ve been thinking a lot about rules lately, and what mine are. They can be difficult to identify because they’re so ingrained and obliged mindlessly. But last week I identified one so clearly I actually laughed out loud. And then in an act of defiance, I broke that rule.

Dear readers, believe me when I tell you that as long as I can remember I have obeyed the rule that one can never eat more than one banana in a single day. This rule ranked up there with ‘Thou shalt not kill” in terms of severity. I do not recall where I read or heard it, but it stuck. I eat a banana every day and have planned my bananas according to this rule. If I planned on a yogurt parfait for lunch, I didn’t have a smoothie for breakfast. If I had a banana in my cereal, I didn’t have one as an evening snack. Somehow I failed to ever question the absurdity of this rule, EVEN WHEN I CHOWED DOWN ON JUNK FOOD BECAUSE I NEEDED SOMETHING AND KNEW IT COULDN’T BE A SECOND BANANA.

Now do you see why I laughed? The night I finally realized the idiocy of this rule I had been peering into my fridge looking for a snack. To my right sat a lovely bunch of bananas. I saw them, but my rule shut that option down immediately and I went back to peering in the fridge. Then the lightbulb! To think of the pounds of crap I have eaten simply because I denied myself a second banana is absurd. I laughed. And then I ate that second banana and damn, it was liberating! I had two bananas yesterday, too. Whatcha gonna do about it?

What rules are you attached to? I identified two others in the past week. On Saturday I worked on a project all morning and into the afternoon and then I told myself I had missed my chance to go to the gym. Going to the gym on Saturday is a morning thing. RULE! It was totally weird for me, but I went at 2:00 in the afternoon. The other: you can’t meditate laying down! That doesn’t count! Guess what, I laid myself down and practiced what I’ve preached – I can meditate however the hell I want. (Breaking rules makes me feel like a badass – can ya tell?)

I mean, who said we can’t order dessert before dinner? I know who said. WE said, and when I say “we,” I mean us as individuals because the only one who is making you follow that rule is you (assuming you’re an adult, of course.)

There are so many rules around everything that I think we should start questioning more. Rules around how to load the dishwasher, rules around exercise and food, rules around work and play (this is a BIG one), rules around sex and intimacy (another big one). Who says you can’t read all afternoon? Yes, even if your house is messy. Who says you’re too old to go in the jumpy castle? Who says you can’t laugh and joke during sex? Who says you can’t eat two bananas?

Let’s not allow dotted guidelines to become too rigid and bold. Let’s allow room to QUESTION. Lets be curious and assess our rules, and have fun breaking the ones we don’t need.

Tell me, what unnecessary rules have you adhered to? Which rules do you want to break? I’d love to hear from you – let’s be a bunch of rule breakers together!

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