The wind picked up and the temperature dropped as we climbed in elevation. I gripped the lap bar, my sleeves pulled tightly over white knuckles. We swayed forward every time the chair lift came to a stop, causing my stomach to drop. I glanced below my dangling feet at the craggy mountain slope and calculated my chances of survival should our chair snap free from its steel cable. I don’t have a fear of heights so much as I have a fear of faulty engineering. But it was my friend, Amy’s birthday, and taking a chairlift to the top of Mount Snow in Vermont was what she wanted to do. So I faced my fear and anxiously awaited my prize of solid ground, breathtaking views, and an alcoholic beverage in the lodge to calm my nerves. I am grateful I didn’t give in to my fear. The reward of a new life experience sitting atop that mountain overlooking the valley was worth the discomfort.
Acknowledging Fear
When was the last time you did something that scared you?
I could rattle you off a list of things I’ve done that scared the hell out of me. Highlights include slipping down sliding rock in Pisgah National Forest into frigid water. Holding a tarantula in Colorado. Being a passenger along Mount Evans Road, the highest paved road in North America, which dropped off to certain death at 14,000 feet.
I recall these moments specifically because the experience of facing and embracing fear is so memorable. Knotted stomach, tight back, clenched jaw, rapid breathing, increased adrenaline… the mind races with one ultimate decision: give in to the fear or face the fear. When you decide to go for it, a nervous courage joins the party leaving you feeling emboldened and rebellious. Then you do the thing that scares you and exhilaration floods through you like a tsunami and you’re no longer who you were a moment before. You’re changed: stronger, braver and more experienced.
The Cost of Fear
There is nothing to gain by giving in to fear, but there is so much to lose. Had I allowed myself to be held back by fear over the years, I would have sacrificed so many incredible life experiences. All those memories and stories… gone. All those instances when I demonstrated bravery that have boosted my confidence… gone. All that exhilaration… gone.
Fear grips us when we think we may fail, get hurt, or worse, die. This is not an easy thing to overcome. We give in to it in order to prevent risk of injury or death, but the truth is that the joke’s on us. That’s because fear does not stop death, it stops life. Fear stops us from living.
Adrenaline is what makes us feel alive! Taking risks and chances, being afraid, increasing life experiences – THAT’S living.
We don’t regret the things we do that scared us, we regret not doing them. Twenty plus years later, I am still grateful I quite literally took a leap and jumped off a 25 foot cliff. To this day, it remains one my proudest moments; one that helped shape who I am as a person.
I was no younger than ten or older than twelve. Forever trying to keep up with my big brothers, I found myself at the edge of a cliff at Action Park. I desperately tried to will myself to take that last tiny step before chickening out, stepping aside and letting people go ahead of me.
My fearless brother, Joey jumped and climbed the hill back to the cliff several times while I stood there becoming increasingly worn down by my fear. My eyes welled with tears as my resolve slipped away. Joey came back again. “Ready?” he asked. I stood at the edge and crossed my arms over my chest as instructed. Finally, desperate, I uttered two words through frozen lips. “Push me.”
Without hesitation Joey nudged my back and down I went. The fall seemed to last a lifetime before I plunged deeply into the cold water. I emerged a different person; someone bolder, someone braver, someone more experienced.
Imagine if I had let my fear get the best of me that day on top of that cliff? This would not be a story of courage, but one of regret.
Facing and Embracing Fear
When you are faced with the opportunity to do something that scares you, take it! These are what some of life’s most defining and memorable experiences are made of!
What scares you? What do you regret not doing because you gave in to your fear?
Jump off cliffs, hold a snake, ask the girl out, travel alone to a foreign country… DO WHAT SCARES YOU! You may think these experiences aren’t that memorable, but believe me, they are! The adrenaline surges and sense of empowerment alone are enough to make you feel more alive. It’s a total bonus that facing and embracing fear boosts confidence.
Believe me, these are the stories you’ll tell. You will live to see another day, and will get to enjoy a life that has more… well, LIFE.
P.S. In writing this post I realized that my brother, Joey, who really is fearless, was present at nearly every single one of my scariest moments, even those that didn’t make the final draft of this post. Truth be told, on Mount Evans Road I was so terrified I begged him to let me out of the car. He wouldn’t let me because it wasn’t safe. If it wasn’t for him nudging me off the cliff, I may never have taken the step myself. If it wasn’t for him not letting me out of the car, I wouldn’t have ever been 14,000 feet high into the clouds. Thanks, Joey. xoxo
This is EXACTLY what I needed to read today. I’ve taken a lot of chances lately, and I’ve fallen on my face more than a few times. It seems like the more rejection I receive that more difficult each risk becomes. But I just have to take a deep breath and figure out how to push through it. And make sure I have people around who can push me. Thank you for reminding me of that.
Dear Victoria, you are very brave! I am grateful this post resonated with you. Falling on our faces is far better than not even trying. Keep living.