Adjustments and fine tuning are required when working to establish lasting habits. Continuing to do the same things that don’t work while expecting different results truly is a waste of time and effort. Believe me, I’ve done the legwork. At the same time, even if certain routines or tools work well, chances are they won’t forever without some occasional tweaking, even if just to keep things interesting and prevent boredom. After all, we are resilient creatures capable of adaptation, but also of stagnancy. After a great deal of trial and error I’ve found that I am able to establish lasting habits by thinking small.
Eliminate the BUT
When it comes to creating habits that ultimately help me accomplish my goals, I go through a lot of trial and error until I discover what works for me. Some things work well, BUT only temporarily. Some work well, BUT are too dependent on other factors that rarely align. Some I think work well, BUT ultimately hurt my well-being. I wanted to find a habit that worked well with no BUT after it.
I am happy to say I have found the solution! The secret lay in establishing “small” daily goals based on the theory that a little is better than nothing, and can add up to a lot!
Take exercise, for example. Many of us have made lofty goals like:
- I am going to walk 5 miles every day
- I will go to the gym every weekday morning at 5 am
The problem with these daily habits, as good as our intentions may be, is that they are too big and not nearly flexible enough to adapt to the curve-balls life inevitably throws at us. It’s not easy to walk five miles when it’s pouring rain and you have no gym membership. Not so easy to go to the gym at 5 am when you were up late with a sick child. Shoot, it’s not easy getting up at 5 to go to the gym even on the best of days.
So we fail. And then oftentimes we end up doing nothing for lengthy periods of time because we got caught up in the all-or-nothing mindset trap.
But I have cracked the code! And believe me when I say I have tried it all.
I have exercised nearly every single day for the past two months thanks to thinking small and making this my goal: EXERCISE AT LEAST 20 MINUTES EVERY DAY.
It doesn’t matter when. It doesn’t matter how. All that matters is that my body is in motion for twenty minutes. This is REALISTIC. Even when I’m short on time, I can fit in at least 20 minutes. Even when I don’t want to, I know I can do it for at least 20 minutes. I found success in creating a daily goal with no room for a BUT. And the beautiful thing is that I often work out for longer than twenty minutes. But even when I don’t, at least I did something. And SOMETHING is always better than NOTHING.
Establish lasting habits by thinking small
So if you’re holding out for a perfect routine or think you can’t work out if you miss yoga class or the gym is closed, then I urge you to rethink how you’re setting your goal. Establish lasting habits by thinking small and see big change.
This applies to most everything!
Despite my success with regular exercise, I failed horribly at my March writing goal to draft three more chapters of my work-in-progress. When I sat down to write my April writing goal, I considered how I could apply the same philosophy and think smaller to establish a lasting writing habit. Twenty minutes felt far too long at the time. Keep in mind I didn’t write one.single.word. in March due to a block. I needed something not based on duration, but on a not-scary daily quota.
Finally, I settled on a daily goal of writing one paragraph. In doing so I eliminated room for a BUT when it came to making excuses not to write. There’s no reason why I can’t manage to write one paragraph even if it means tapping it on my phone on the train (which I have not yet needed to do.)
When I don’t want to write and it seems too difficult and scary, I take comfort in only having to write one paragraph. Guess what? Once I start, I often don’t stop at one paragraph! But knowing I can if I want to gets me started. And if you’re thinking, “why bother?” Well, at the very least I’ll finish April with 30 paragraphs. It sure beats March’s total of zero.
Apply it to anything
Exercise and writing not your thing? Establish lasting habits by thinking small in order to clean out your closets (or tackle virtually any project); drink more water; achieve a daily meditation practice… anything! Tell me what lasting habit you want to establish and I am sure we can find a way to start small in order to create it. Like a picky eater staring down a plate of vegetables, things aren’t so daunting when you know you only have to swallow one piece. By thinking small I’ve managed to eliminate dread and stop the brain from going into excuse-making overdrive.
And guess what? Once you establish these daily habits, over time they will become so incorporated into your daily regimen that you will no longer even need to think of them! Once that happens, you can consider expanding on them. For now, remember to think small.
Having trouble thinking small? Tell me your habit and I’ll help you come up with a small daily habit to achieve it.
I have been trying to come up with a productive meditation practice. I’ve been working towards a healthier and more peaceful lifestyle, but meditation has not come easy. Suggestions? 😊
Hi, Kristin. To be honest, it still doesn’t come easy for me either, which is why they call it practice. But I do suggest you start small. Commit to five minutes every morning or night, depending on which works better for you. Five minutes to try to be present and observe your thoughts. It takes time to build the habit. Five minutes every day will make a tremendous difference. Good luck!