Early last month I made the difficult announcement that I had separated from my husband and moved out of my home. In that announcement I also shared that my apartment’s small kitchen inspired a new creative project that I would share with you all soon. Well, the time has come. I am excited to share my brand new Youtube channel, ‘Big Appetite. Small Kitchen.’ with you all!

Minimalism has been one of the primary themes of this blog for many years; a topic I know many of you appreciate. After countless #minsgames and experiments with #project333, moving in to a small apartment wasn’t terribly difficult (in terms of stuff, that is.) But as someone who finds so much joy in the kitchen, I struggled with my new small space. My minimalist principles were put to the test as I was forced to examine what I truly needed to sufficiently cook and bake.

Despite little space and room for only the necessities, my passion for cooking returned in no time. I realized it didn’t matter how much counter or cabinet space I had, or how fancy my oven was. All that mattered was how I felt as I prepared delicious food for myself and the people I care about. And let me tell you… I felt happy. 

A Creative Seed

One evening soon into living in my new apartment I gave an enthusiastic (and impromptu) tutorial on how to prepare an authentic caesar salad. It was in that moment that the creative seed for ‘Big Appetite. Small Kitchen.’ was planted.

I’ve shared so much over the years through the written word — sharing via video didn’t feel like that much of a departure. The wheels started turning and my co-creator, Devin and I bounced around ideas. What if we could show people that a small kitchen doesn’t have to be limiting? What if we could demonstrate how to prepare low-cost, yet health-forward food with minimal tools and ingredients that complement the realities of a small kitchen? Maybe we could even help people save money by showing them how to make things most people spend money on, like cold brew, for example.

Lucky for me, Devin was equally excited by the concept… and had most of the necessary equipment… and had dabbled in videography… and editing… and obtained all the other skills required to put together a Youtube show.

We decided to put our money where our mouths were, commit to the project, and see where it goes.

We launched ‘Big Appetite. Small Kitchen.’ (B.A.S.K.) with three videos:

1. How to make perfect hard-boiled eggs
2. How to make cold brew coffee
3. Must have kitchen utensils

Nurturing the Seed

We learned so much in a short time and continue to improve and be excited by the project. Not only has it been a fun creative outlet, it’s turned out to be an aid to my disordered eating recovery. I cried the first time I saw myself on camera, disgusted by the woman staring back at me. There was a part of me that wanted to tell Devin to delete everything — that I was nuts to think I had any business whatsoever being on camera.

But we had worked hard. And I believe there is value in what we created. And I am who I am and this is what I look like at the moment.

I’ve wasted so much time and missed out on so many things choosing to wait until I was comfortable in my skin. I may NEVER feel comfortable in my own skin. But I have a life to live and creative endeavors to pursue. My limiting beliefs are LOUD and MEAN, but I continue to challenge them.

So I agreed to put our first few videos out into the world. And so far… so good.

And now I’m sharing them with you! I can’t wait to hear what you think and would love it if you would share some requests for future videos.

In the meantime, “Thanks for watching. Like and subscribe for more.” 

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I achieved seven of my ten September goals. One I didn’t meet was to re-establish a regular yoga practice. I only practiced yoga once so far this month. Another was to meet a specific weight goal, which I didn’t. Probably because I only only exercised 11 days so far this month. I also ate in a manner in which I’d like to avoid 19 days and drank alcohol 11 days. How do I know all this? I use a habit tracker. And I’ll tell you why you should use a habit tracker, too.

What is a habit tracker?

A habit tracker is a simple tool where you can track habits you wish to cultivate and any other daily functions relevant to you. Your habit tracker can be made in Excel or a similar program, written in a bullet journal, or however your creative heart desires. List the habits you want to track and allow a block for every day of the month beside each habit. Check off or fill in the pixels on the days you achieve each habit, and leave blank the days you don’t.

Like this:

Why you should use a habit tracker

1. It keeps you honest with yourself.

Plain and simple. You either succeeded or you didn’t.

Here are some of the habits I track:

• Waking up at 5 am
• Daily meditation practice
• Minimum of 45 minutes spent exercising
• Minimum of 60 minutes spent working on novel
• Worked towards a monthly goal?

If I do those things, I get to color in the box. If not, it stays blank.

2. You can see in black and white (or bright colors) where you may be falling short and what’s preventing you from achieving your goals.

Goals are achieved through daily actions. One of my goals was a specific weight. In order to make it, I had to eat right and exercise. I failed at doing that consistently enough, so it’s no surprise whatsoever that I didn’t meet my goal.

Say your goal is to write 100 pages of a novel over a month. Well then your daily goal becomes 3.2 pages a day and that can be a daily habit you track. If you don’t hit your mark, you’ll be able to look at your tracker and see why.

If you’re a goal-oriented person and understand that you need to break down your goals into daily tasks, then a habit tracker is for you.

After all, “Great things are done by a series of small things brought together.” – Vincent Van Gogh

3. Because “Never is never right, and always is always wrong.”

Ganga White said this and it’s one of my favorite quotes. Through the use of my habit tracker I see first hand just how true this is. We have a tendency to say what we “never” do or “always” do, but when you’re literally tracking those things, you begin to see that neither is correct.

After a week of steady exercise we tend to boast how we “always” work out, even though we didn’t for three weeks before it. Or when we’re disheartened we may say things like I’ll never finish my novel because I never write anymore.

When you track your habits, you see that the truth is most likely somewhere in the middle, and then you can adjust accordingly.

4. A habit tracker is a motivational tool that makes breaking bad habits and cultivating good ones fun.

The boxes are little carrots at the end of the day that you want to color in. That simple act is motivating! They’re like gold stars for a job well done!

Not sure what to track? Think of the habits you want to break and those you want to cultivate.

Here are ten ideas to get your gears turning:

• Didn’t smoke
• Drank 64 ounces of water
• Ate breakfast
• Made the bed
• Didn’t buy lunch
• Journaled
• Didn’t exceed daily calorie intake
• Smiled at a stranger
• Walked a minimum of 10,000 steps
• Didn’t snack before bed

5. You get to start each month with a clean slate.

Each new month brings with it a cleansing and enthusiastic energy. I like to start each one organized and prepared for a fresh start. I don’t dwell on where I could have tried harder or what I should have done better. I look to the future and try again. So I print out a fresh new habit tracker and begin again!

Excited to join me and try out habit tracking for yourself? Click the button below to join my mailing list (I only send one email a month, I promise!) and receive a free habit tracker download! Once you submit your email address, check your inbox for an email with a link to your beautifully designed habit tracker pdf. (If you don’t see the email, please check your spam or junk folder.)

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Over the course of my wellness and recovery journey, I have developed many beneficial daily habits. For example, every day I make note of my happiest moment, answer a question provided in a daily journal, jot down a few lines about the day in a separate daily journal, and list three things I am most grateful for. I find that these habits combined help me to be more mindful and overall, much happier. This practice helps me take greater pleasure in the ordinary and find something special in every single day. It also helps to slow down time since I’m no longer living solely for life’s highlights.

Over the summer I had the idea to combine all these practices into one two year journal and publish it, so everyone can enjoy it. I am overjoyed to report that Questions For Life: Two Year Guided Daily Journal For Intentional Living is near completion and will be available for purchase soon.

From the journal: Do you ever reflect on life and feel like it’s all a blur? The Questions For Life two-year guided daily journal gets you in the habit of slowing down and reflecting on each day while getting to know yourself better by answering self-discovery questions. For each day there is space to reflect, express gratitude, capture your happiest moment, and answer a thought-provoking question. Completing the journal each day, which only takes a few minutes, will soon have you enjoying the simpler things in day to day life, living more intentionally and feeling happier!

This journal is designed so that you can start any time of the year. When you finish a full year, start over! Enjoy reading about the previous year and reflect on how much you’ve grown; see how your answers to the questions have (or haven’t) changed. The questions are intended to help you think about your life (What are you passionate about?), live creatively and pursue your dreams (Are you giving your goals the time they deserve?), evaluate relationships (What do you value most in a friendship?) reflect on whether you’re living with intention and purpose (Did you perform an act of kindness today?), and have some fun (What makes you laugh hardest?).

For anyone interested in slowing down, practicing daily reflection, evaluating their life, and living with intention – this journal is for you!

Can’t wait to start your practice? Join my mailing list now and you will receive November’s journal pages FREE.

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Inspiration isn’t something you find; it’s something you hear. Many people wonder when and where inspiration strikes. It strikes when our minds are quiet enough for the sweet voice of an exciting idea to break through. Therefore, it is extremely important we identify ways, times, and places when our minds are quieter in order to be inspired. Once we know what quiets our mind, we need to give ourselves those opportunities to allow for inspiration to speak.

Being Inspired

At the time of this writing, I was in Vermont on retreat. The sun hadn’t yet fully risen and I was seated at my friend, Amy’s kitchen table. There were exactly three sounds: the clacking of the keyboard; the hum of the refrigerator; and the ticking of the wall clock. My mind was perfectly quiet. I had just woken up from a deep, ten-hour sleep. I was there to get away, to rest, to work, and to be inspired.

Last time I was in Vermont I wrote R.E.T.R.E.A.T, a post about the benefits of getting away. Last time I was there I also went paddle boarding for hours around a beautiful mountain lake. It was there in that quiet, out in the middle of the water, that my mind was quiet enough to hear the idea for a novel break through loud and clear. I wrote 50,000 words of that novel during NaNoWriMo. It is that novel I continue to work on now.

When I was hiking in the Blue Ridge Mountains this past July another wonderful idea came to me. I haven’t yet shared that idea here, but I will soon, believe me. I started working on that idea the day after I got home from that vacation and will have something to show the world for it soon.

In my mind’s eye, inspiration looks to me like a glowing young, sweet girl. Our thoughts, to-dos, anxieties, observations, and judgements look like bickering adults. I imagine loud adults around me yelling over one another like brokers during trading hours. Poor sweet inspiration is trying to push her way through the sea of legs, saying “excuse me” in her sweet voice, but she goes unnoticed and is unable to get through. Only when I can eliminate some of those adults is when and where inspiration strikes. She walks up to me gracefully and glowing, tugs my shirt so I stoop down, and whispers in my ear.

Elizabeth Gilbert wrote in her latest novel, Big Magic that ideas swirl around us, trying to get our attention. Most of the time they go ignored because we’re shopping, brooding, pondering or watching television.

“But sometimes—rarely, but magnificently—there comes a day when you’re open and relaxed enough to actually receive something. The idea, sensing your openness, will start to do its work on you. It will send the universal physical and emotional signals of inspiration (chills up the arms… nervous stomach… that feeling of falling into love or obsession.) You will start to notice all sorts of signs pointing you toward the idea.”

Does this sound familiar? I certainly hope so!

It’s so important we not only identify these times and places when we’re open and relaxed enough (sitting in a hammock under a full moon, perhaps?), but that we recreate them. Let’s make it as easy as possible for sweet inspiration to whisper in our ears.

When and Where Inspiration Strikes Me

1. The beach/ocean/bodies of water

For the majority of my life I thought the ocean held an exclusive power, but I have learned that lakes, bays and rivers are just as magical for me. Going to the water recharges, refreshes and relaxes me, as I wrote in this post. There is such beauty in water and it reminds me what is truly important in life, hence quieting that which is not. Water casts a spell on me allowing inspiration to speak.

2. The mountains

I become more of a mountain-lover after every trip to higher elevations. The fresh air, the views, the life! It does something to me. Also in western, NC this past July was when I was inspired enough to quit smoking once and for all. (It’s since been 67 days that I’m 100% cigarette-free!) The mountains are quiet and spacious with so little congestion. They are a place where we can breathe.

3. When meditating

The saying goes that we talk to the universe when we pray, but we listen to the universe when we meditate. This is the ultimate in quieting those bickering, loud adults in my mind and allowing the universe to speak to me. Some beautiful things have come across my quieted mind during meditation.

4. When cleaning (focusing on a project)

Cleaning, and other projects like wood working, gardening, etc. require our focus. Focus is another form of meditation so it’s no wonder that our mind is quieted enough to hear inspiration speak. Instead of thousands of thoughts running through our minds, there are more like dozens, so inspiration is able to reach us easier.

5. In nature

I specifically mentioned water and the mountains because they are extra special to me, but truthfully all of nature is inspiring. Walks in the woods, bicycle rides along tree-laden trails, sitting in parks… Getting outside for fresh air and away from distractions like electronics and work is so beneficial to clearing the mind.

6. Libraries and coffee shops

As a writer, I am also inspired when I surround myself with others who are focused and quietly reading and/or writing. It’s as if everyone’s energy sort of plays off one another resulting in a super focused, meditative atmosphere. Whether you’re a painter or a musician or whatever else, surround yourself with like-minded people or those who are doing something similar. If you can’t be surrounded by them, surround yourself with their art. Go to a symphony or to a museum. Take in the work and energy of others.

Those are the places and times I know for a fact I can hear inspiration speak.

When was the last time you felt inspired? What were you doing? Maybe you were out walking or running? I’m usually too busy daydreaming and battling with myself to keep going to hear inspiration when I run, but maybe that’s the perfect time for you. The point is to identify those times and places when and where inspiration strikes YOU and recreate them as much a possible.

This past January I held the second annual #MinsGame minimizing event on Facebook. Thank you to everyone who played and had fun getting rid of unnecessary crap in order to free up space in their homes and lives. It was great to see all the excited energy in the event posts. There are now 500+ fewer “things” in my home and I’m thrilled!

I’ve been minimizing for exactly a year and it’s still interesting to see what I couldn’t get rid of then, but can now, or what I still can’t part with. This time around I struggled with my sketch pads. But through the struggle came an incredible realization, one which would have never occurred to me if I didn’t bother to part with things I don’t use.

Like most young creative people, I wanted to be some sort of artist. I settled on the drawing kind since it seemed most practical and didn’t require expensive tools or lessons, like painting or playing guitar. Every so often I’d find myself in an art store energized by my surroundings and buy various sketch pads, charcoal pencils, etc. But I can count on one hand the number of times since high school I’ve actually sketched.

And yet I’ve had so much trouble parting with them! I always wanted to be a sketcher. I envisioned myself sitting in a pretty park on a beautiful day sketching away some tree in the distance. I rationalized that some day I’d use them. To get rid of the pads seemed to symbolize getting rid of the desire and giving up on that idea of that person I still wanted to be, and just hadn’t gotten around to being.

But as I held the sketch books in my hand last month, I remembered something. Let me back up.

When I was a tween, I was quite literally obsessed with surfing. I won’t go into all the embarrassing details, but just trust me on this. OBSESSED. (It’s embarrassing because no twelve year old with no surfboard who lives in the armpit of New Jersey of all places should be obsessed with surfing.)

I held on to this idea that I was meant to be a surfer until… oh, let me see… last summer!

It wasn’t until last summer that I tried stand up paddleboarding (SUP) and admitted to myself that I enjoyed it significantly more than surfing! The idea came like a betrayal and confused me at first. No, I thought. I have to surf. I spent two decades wanting to do this! I can’t stop trying. So I went surfing and got my ass kicked and nearly drowned in waves too big for me and realized I was having absolutely no fun at all.

When I realized I didn’t have to surf, that I could sell my board, buy a paddle board and never look back, I literally laughed out loud. The thought of doing anything else in the water never once occurred to me because I refused to make space for any other option. I fixed my sights and focused all my energy solely on surfing, never considering anything else. If I hadn’t gone to the beach on International Surfing Day and found the waves totally flat, I’d most likely have not tried SUP for some time. But that particular day I was open to it because there was no other option except to paddle out and sit in the surf twiddling my thumbs.

A space was created and something better took surfing’s place.

I remembered this as I looked down at the sketch pads. Quite recently after seeing a really neat modern cross stitch design, I bought some supplies to try it out and loved the meditative act of cross stitching. It’s perfect for when I’m winding down at night and I’m too tired to read or write and worry that I’ll munch if my hands are free.

Below is a photo of my work in progress. I got rid of the sketch pads. I gave them to Kathy, who does sketch quite often. In their place is now a storage tote full of my cross stitching supplies. In this instance, I literally created space for something that better serves me.

There’s an episode of How I Met Your Mother called “Unfinished” when Robin challenges Marshall and Lily to delete a number in their phones from their past. Marshall doesn’t want to delete some club promoter he knew from his college funk band days because he holds on to the fact that they’ll still play again some day. Lilly gets sad when faced with the idea of deleting the number from her karate dojo because she still hopes to learn karate. These are unfinished passions, just like sketching and surfing were to me.

But in the end they delete the numbers, just like I got rid of my sketch pads and surfboard.Because it’s okay to change and become interested by other things. It’s okay to give up on things that do not serve us.

Ask yourself, is there something taking up too much space in your home or life? Maybe something you are so focused on that you’ve blocked out any other possible options? Perhaps there’s something better that can take its place…

Excitement courses through my veins and I have this sharpness and clarity. I think a little quicker, see a little clearer, and move a little faster. My energy is increased and I marvel at my speed and accuracy; my discipline and focus, as I extend my days and check off goals and to-dos, as if they were items on a grocery list. My productivity for everything has never been so high. My happiness equates to only that of first falling in love.

This is the high of creative magic. This was what I experienced all last week.

Ten days into National Novel Writing Month (NaNoWriMo) and the creative magic has, most unfortunately, worn off. I spent a day and a half fighting to get it back, racking my brain for solutions to the problems in my story structure. Desperation to feel that magic once more was my primary motivator.

But now, after the worst of the withdrawal, I am motivated once again by my goal. I heard that most people quit in the second week, which means my scenario and frustrations are not unique. That is both comforting and sad. The first week is all excitement, but then we soon realize this undertaking is really fucking hard. It’s not so different than New Years resolutions. For that first week everyone is pumped.

“This is it! This is my year! I’m going to meet my goals! I’m taking back my life!”

After a week, most people have already resigned to the fact that no, this isn’t going to be their year. This is precisely why we often end up living the same year over and over and calling it a life.

I refuse to be someone who gives up after a week. Giving up on this goal hasn’t even occurred to me, because not being a writer has never occurred to me.

I am so grateful I decided to participate in NaNoWriMo. It’s the perfect time to take on drafting a novel because there is so much amazing energy globally around writing, and so many resources available. I have learned more in the past ten days about story structure than I have in the past five years. That is because I’m learning by doing.

Although incredibly frustrating and demotivating, I am happy to know NOW where my problems are so I can address them and rework them, instead of after years of planning and thinking about something, only to realize ten days in that it doesn’t work.

If you have an idea you want to write, something you want to build, or something you want to paint, my advice to you is: START NOW.

You can read all you want about building, writing and painting or anything else, but until you start putting brush to canvas, or pen to page, you’re not making any progress. And I assure you, no matter how much you read, you’ll soon realize that you have no idea what you’re doing, just like I realized with my novel. I say that with laughter, but it isn’t a joke.

I’m going to keep working toward my goal of 50,000 words. Hopefully the creative magic finds me again. I have already learned that it’s not about the words. In striving for those words, you are forced to plot, develop your characters, do research AND write. The words are the fruits of having been forced to figure shit out. So if I keep striving for 50,000 words, I know I’ll need to figure out my story structure. I’m many steps closer to that thanks to getting derailed and refusing to quit. I will figure out how to get things back on track.

I want to have a novel. Therefore, I’ll need to write one. Now is just as good as a time as any to make that happen.

What do you want that you’ve never had? Maybe it’s time to do something you’ve never done before, like get started.

“You seem happier since you’ve been writing again.”

That’s what a friend said to me recently. I smiled and thought about it for a moment. Yes, I did feel happier.

So much of this journey is to do with me learning me and coming to a place of self-understanding. I believe writing has helped me to feel happier because I am finally creating again.

To create something is to bring it into existence as a result of one’s own actions. There is a wonderful sense of accomplishment and joy in that; in expressing feeling and urge and for those emotions to result in a tangible creation that formerly did not exist. In some ways it is like giving birth. Be it writing, crafts, art, a classic car, even meal planning; you nurture something with your attention and ideas and imagination. It takes shape then joins the world and you’ve gotten it out of you.

For far too long my life was filled with “have to” projects and not “want to” projects. The freedom to write and create what I want, when I want is something I have no intention of taking for granted ever again. I have felt like a child in a candy store that went years without the taste of sweetness on their tongue. What else have I been missing, I wondered. What else did I love that I had forgotten?

As soon as I decided to make a happiness jar for 2015, I knew it just had to be decoupaged. A child-like excitement coursed through me. Collage! I had forgotten how much I used to absolutely love sitting with a stack of magazines cutting out letters and pictures and phrases and arranging them in beautiful collages. Doing exactly that was my New Year’s Day gift to myself and I relished the experience of flipping through magazines, searching for the right letters and photos that resonated with me, cutting and trimming and spelling out words.

Me, Cooper, and my collaged & decoupaged 2015 Happiness Jar. My very first entry for 1/1/15: “Creating this jar.”

I have always been creative. This is who I am. I am certain that the suppression of that nature contributed to my frustrations the past two years. And now that I know this, I am learning to say “no” more often to things that will limit my time to be creative. It is a wonderful thing.

Is there something you used to love doing and just haven’t made the time for? Scrapbooking, maybe? Baking? Writing poetry or water coloring? Dig out that easel from the basement or take a trip to the crafts store and allow yourself to be inspired again. Creating is a wonderful thing.