Another year has gone. One of my greatest fears is living the same year over and over and calling it life. To ensure I’m not doing that, I prioritize year end reflection to evaluate how I did on my goals, and contemplate the year’s highlights, successes, and the new experiences it provided. I try not to take life for granted. Taking time to reflect helps me to better appreciate the year behind me, acknowledge my growth and successes, and express gratitude for it all. It also helps me to assess where I fell short and what I want out of the year ahead. And now that 2017 is behind us, here’s my year in review.

2017 Year End Reflection Highlights:

1. New Travel Experience: Punta Cana, Dominican Republic

Mike and I traveled to Punta Cana this past March for our friend’s 40th birthday. That was not only a beautiful and incredible experience overall, but it also provided a wonderful exercise in letting go when we got stuck there a few extra days due to bad weather back home. Travel is important to me and I’m glad we went and had this luxurious experience. The trip yielded two blog posts if you’d like to read more about it:

Stuck in Punta Cana: An Exercise in Letting Go and

Jumping in at Hoyo Azul Cenote in Punta Cana, Dominican Republic

2. Integrative Wellness and Life Coaching Certification

In April I attended an Integrative Wellness and Life Coaching Certification course. Over the next few months I completed my coursework and practicum. In July I received my official certification. This course was worth every penny. I learned so many useful tools not only to help myself maintain well being and balance in my own life, but also how to help others do the same. Although other priorities have still been my focus, I am available for coaching. I’m not sure where this will take me yet, but I’m grateful for the tools and knowledge I acquired through this process.

3. Renewed Relationships

2017 saw the return of my father (and his family) into my life. I truly believe that things happen when we are ready, and when they are meant to. I’ve done a lot of work letting go, forgiving, and opening my heart. Once my heart was open, opportunities just seemed to present themselves. I seized those opportunities and was rewarded with the return of family. I am incredibly grateful for this.

4. New Job

After thirteen years in non-profit, including six years at my most recent position, I made the shift to corporate. I left my job and took a position as Marketing Operations Manager in November. Changing jobs was not one of my 2017 goals, but again, opportunities presented themselves and I went for them. When they didn’t work out, I learned from them and went after more. I found a wonderful new job and am incredibly happy and grateful for this shift in my career. I’m also proud of myself for being open to a major change and pursuing it.

5. Weight Loss

I kicked off 2017 with a weight loss challenge to lose forty pounds in six months. It was the hardest damn thing I ever did in my life, but I did it. Yes, I lost 40 pounds in six months.

Unfortunately I’ve gained a bit of it (okay, a lot of it) back. But my weight loss still belongs on this list because it consumed six months of my year and was a tremendous accomplishment. And I am happy to report that I’m ending 2017 weighing less than I did when it started. Therefore, goal achieved.

6. Major Minimizing

I’ve been minimizing my possessions and embracing a more minimalist lifestyle for just under three years now. It’s definitely something that progresses in stages. This past year I minimized my already pared down wardrobe by more than half!  You can read more about that here. Minimalism continues to be a way of life for me. In fact, I’m playing #minsgame again starting January 1! And if you’d like to join me in playing, please post your photos on social media using #minsgamewithjw in your posts.

7. Not One Cigarette

I quit smoking July 23, 2016 and haven’t touched another cigarette since. Not when I was out socializing, not drunk in Punta Cana… NOT ONE CIGARETTE. Although reaching my one year anniversary on July 23 was very cool, I think it’s even cooler to say for the first time in over fifteen years: I DIDN’T SMOKE THIS YEAR! I have not one single experience associated with smoking in 2017. I’m proud of myself for that.

2017 Reflection:

Thanks to year end reflection I think it’s safe to say that 2017 was a good year. It definitely wasn’t the same as the years before it! I traveled, lost weight, was smoke-free, changed jobs, learned a lot, and rekindled relationships with estranged family. I can go to bed on New Year’s Eve with a smile on my face and gratitude in my heart.

2017 Goal Analysis:

But how’d I do on my 2017 goals? Well, let’s see, shall we? Here they are:

1. Pay off three specific debts.

I paid off two of the three! The third I reduced only by $447.05. (2018 is going to be a big year for finances so stay tuned for more on that.)

2. Complete the first draft of my fiction novel.

I knew this was a bold goal. I didn’t even come close to achieving this. HOWEVER, I did make progress. And I do have some momentum heading into 2018. You will see this goal again. I refuse to give up on it. But I’ve adjusted my approach to accomplishing how I achieve it. Clearly, what I’ve been doing hasn’t been working.

3. Establish a healthy morning routine, and maintain it consistently.

I didn’t get up at 5 am every weekday, but I’d say I did wake up early more days than not. Therefore, I deem this goal a success. I rarely used the extra time to work out, but I did sit in my office, enjoy my coffee, plan for the day ahead, journal, read, etc. I enjoy my leisurely mornings. Overall, I have felt more organized and less stressed as a result of waking up earlier. This goal won’t need repeating because after a year, waking up early is just something I do most days naturally now.

4. Drastically reduce the amount of time I spend on Facebook/social media.

Turning off notifications on my phone was one of the smartest things I did this year. This drastically reduced how often I check in on social media. I still find myself scrolling my way down rabbit holes at times, but it’s not as often. Regardless, I’ve learned I’m not missing anything. It’s still fun and I’m not about to quit social media, but I can certainly cut back even more. That will require mindfulness to catch myself because I swear sometimes I don’t even realize I’m doing it.

5. Continue setting New Moon Intentions each moon cycle with specific 29 day goals.

I’ve benefited from and enjoyed being more in sync with lunar cycles. I set new moon intentions almost every moon cycle. I can’t say how much it has improved my productivity, but it has improved my sense of connectedness to the Universe. For me, moon ritual is spiritual. My natural rhythm better matches the moon’s, and so this is what works for me.

6. Lose weight

For the third consecutive year I am completing the year weighing less than when it began. You already know I lost forty pounds this past year, but I also gained almost all of it back. But the goal was to lose weight. And I did that. You’ll see a version of this goal among my 2018 goals, but a bit different… stay tuned.

I’ve been saying all year that 2017 was a good year. Thanks to year end reflection, I can see with certainty that I was correct. Sure, there were rough spots and losses, but what would be the point in writing about those? When you focus on the positive, life is positive. It’s that simple. And I can see that I had one hell of a positive year.

Now it’s my favorite time of year! It’s time to plan for 2018! Stay tuned for my 2018 goals coming on December 31. Thanks so much for reading. I wish you all a VERY HAPPY NEW YEAR!

What about you? What are some of your 2017 highlights? How did you do with your goals? I’d love to hear from you!

I wrote one blog post in October. Surely someone other than my Mom noticed that? I started a draft of this post back in June. It reads “June was hard on me.” Unfortunately so was July. And August. And September. And October. I shared some of that in my last post, Stress Sucks, where I also confessed I had gained back twenty of the forty pounds I lost this year. I had high hopes that this week off would finally mark the end of a five month run of stress. It almost didn’t. But thankfully I realized my staycation mistakes early on with the help of my counselor, and finally gave myself permission to take it easy before I start my new job.

Staycation Mistakes

Mistake #1: Attempting to add too much structure to the unstructured

Before the start of vacation I began scheduling my time off in what I now realize was an attempt to add structure to the unstructured. I filled my calendar with to-dos and all the yoga and exercise classes I wanted to take.

But then my calendar became overwhelming. I struggled between what I thought I should be doing (going to yoga) and what I wanted to do (have slow mornings in my pajamas with lots of coffee and reading.)

“You are a very structured person,” my counselor said. “Structured people struggle with unstructured time, which is why they often can’t wait to get back into a routine. But this is your vacation.”

I realized I could do with a bit of unplanned time, so I stopped scheduling it all.

Mistake #2: Overly ambitious and unrealistic plans

I overwhelmed myself with ambitious and unrealistic plans. These plans included working out every day, eating perfectly, writing every day, and completing about eight thousand million projects. Is it any wonder I started vacation with splitting headaches and wanting nothing more than to sleep? Guilt gnawed at me, like a hamster on a carrot. What I should be doing ran through my head on repeat and the headaches intensified.

“What are your MAIN priorities this week?” my counselor asked.

I considered them. “Eat healthy. Umm, exercise every day for at least 45 minutes, rest, get my clothes ready for my first week of work. Oh, and write!”

Eating perfectly was never going to happen and I should have known better than to even let that combination of words pass through my mind. I had so many social plans and meals out that it was impossible. Not to mention it was Halloween! So again, I eased up on myself.

Identifying my primary goals also helped me realize that I didn’t need to go to yoga most days, especially since my body wasn’t up for it. I walked around Philadelphia nearly five miles with my Dad on Thursday. That counts. So does hitting the treadmill in my basement while I watch an episode of Scandal. I’m doing what my body is up for. After all, I’m still sleeping twelve hours every night and recovering from whatever stress my body’s been under, which leads me to…

Mistake #3: Denying the magnitude of the transition

I truly don’t feel stressed or anxious about starting my new job. I have only felt stressed or anxious about wasting this week (see mistake #4).

But my counselor helped me realize that regardless, the transition is causing anxiety. This is a major life change. There are residual emotions over leaving my previous job and there are many unknowns about the new job. I haven’t noticed because I’ve gotten skilled at staying in the present, but obviously, there are emotions lingering. It was a mistake to not acknowledge the magnitude of this life-changing transition. Once I did, that helped me to be more gentle with myself.

Mistake #4: Judging use of time

No one is productive all the time. I don’t care what they say. And personally, I don’t think that would be healthy. But I did go into this week thinking that binge-watching Stranger Things Season 2 was a waste of precious time. Anything that wasn’t writing, cleaning, prepping, cooking, producing was a waste of time. But once we identified my goals for the week, one of which is to rest, I realized there was a lot of time where I could do whatever I wanted.

So after counseling, I went home and watched Stranger Things over lunch. On Halloween, I ran my errands in the morning and then finished the season throughout the afternoon. Time wasted? No way. I enjoyed it.

So much of our stress is self-inflicted. Seriously. We put far too much unnecessary pressure on ourselves it’s ridiculous.

I was disappointed I only posted once last month. The need to write and get something up certainly gnawed at my mind. But I had nothing to say at the time, and the truth is that I had higher priorities. I gave myself permission to take the break to focus on other things. And frankly, I was exhausted all the time.

I try to live by example with this site, which is why I share so openly and honestly with you all. What kind of inspiration can I be if I start posting for the sake of posting and give myself a break down in the process?

Priorities shift as life shifts. And I’m doing my best to roll with it.

So I made some staycation mistakes. And I didn’t eat perfectly. I slept A LOT. I watched a lot of Netflix. Not much writing happened. But I DID have quality time with numerous people. And best of all, I finally feel better. The headaches are gone and I feel rested.

I’m ready for the next chapter.

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I achieved seven of my ten September goals. One I didn’t meet was to re-establish a regular yoga practice. I only practiced yoga once so far this month. Another was to meet a specific weight goal, which I didn’t. Probably because I only only exercised 11 days so far this month. I also ate in a manner in which I’d like to avoid 19 days and drank alcohol 11 days. How do I know all this? I use a habit tracker. And I’ll tell you why you should use a habit tracker, too.

What is a habit tracker?

A habit tracker is a simple tool where you can track habits you wish to cultivate and any other daily functions relevant to you. Your habit tracker can be made in Excel or a similar program, written in a bullet journal, or however your creative heart desires. List the habits you want to track and allow a block for every day of the month beside each habit. Check off or fill in the pixels on the days you achieve each habit, and leave blank the days you don’t.

Like this:

Why you should use a habit tracker

1. It keeps you honest with yourself.

Plain and simple. You either succeeded or you didn’t.

Here are some of the habits I track:

• Waking up at 5 am
• Daily meditation practice
• Minimum of 45 minutes spent exercising
• Minimum of 60 minutes spent working on novel
• Worked towards a monthly goal?

If I do those things, I get to color in the box. If not, it stays blank.

2. You can see in black and white (or bright colors) where you may be falling short and what’s preventing you from achieving your goals.

Goals are achieved through daily actions. One of my goals was a specific weight. In order to make it, I had to eat right and exercise. I failed at doing that consistently enough, so it’s no surprise whatsoever that I didn’t meet my goal.

Say your goal is to write 100 pages of a novel over a month. Well then your daily goal becomes 3.2 pages a day and that can be a daily habit you track. If you don’t hit your mark, you’ll be able to look at your tracker and see why.

If you’re a goal-oriented person and understand that you need to break down your goals into daily tasks, then a habit tracker is for you.

After all, “Great things are done by a series of small things brought together.” – Vincent Van Gogh

3. Because “Never is never right, and always is always wrong.”

Ganga White said this and it’s one of my favorite quotes. Through the use of my habit tracker I see first hand just how true this is. We have a tendency to say what we “never” do or “always” do, but when you’re literally tracking those things, you begin to see that neither is correct.

After a week of steady exercise we tend to boast how we “always” work out, even though we didn’t for three weeks before it. Or when we’re disheartened we may say things like I’ll never finish my novel because I never write anymore.

When you track your habits, you see that the truth is most likely somewhere in the middle, and then you can adjust accordingly.

4. A habit tracker is a motivational tool that makes breaking bad habits and cultivating good ones fun.

The boxes are little carrots at the end of the day that you want to color in. That simple act is motivating! They’re like gold stars for a job well done!

Not sure what to track? Think of the habits you want to break and those you want to cultivate.

Here are ten ideas to get your gears turning:

• Didn’t smoke
• Drank 64 ounces of water
• Ate breakfast
• Made the bed
• Didn’t buy lunch
• Journaled
• Didn’t exceed daily calorie intake
• Smiled at a stranger
• Walked a minimum of 10,000 steps
• Didn’t snack before bed

5. You get to start each month with a clean slate.

Each new month brings with it a cleansing and enthusiastic energy. I like to start each one organized and prepared for a fresh start. I don’t dwell on where I could have tried harder or what I should have done better. I look to the future and try again. So I print out a fresh new habit tracker and begin again!

Excited to join me and try out habit tracking for yourself? Click the button below to join my mailing list (I only send one email a month, I promise!) and receive a free habit tracker download! Once you submit your email address, check your inbox for an email with a link to your beautifully designed habit tracker pdf. (If you don’t see the email, please check your spam or junk folder.)

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I received disappointing news last week. Since all my writing is inspired by my personal journey, I took this as an opportunity to coach myself on how to deal with disappointment. This post is as much for me as it is for you. And if you think I’ve left anything out, please let me know in the comments.

So anyway, yeah, I was disappointed. I had an exciting opportunity in the works. For over two months I struggled between being realistic and optimistic; not getting my hopes up and visualizing my desired outcome in order to help manifest it. In the end I decided to believe the opportunity was mine. I daydreamed, used words like “when” instead of “if.” I was confident.

Since I believed the opportunity was mine, the disappointment was magnified. It’s not just that I didn’t get something I wanted. I feel as though something was taken away from me.

So how to deal with disappointment? After all I’ve learned I can surely pass this exam. Here’s what I’m thinking:

1. Don’t take it personal

This is one of the Four Agreements in the aptly named book, The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz that I recently finished reading.

“When you are immune to the opinions and actions of others, you won’t be the victim of needless suffering.” – Ruiz

I won’t take personally not being chosen for this opportunity. There are countless reasons why I may not have been selected in the end and many of them may have nothing to do with me personally. I know this. And if it is something personal, like the sound of my voice for example, it’s still not personal. Because I also know that what others say and do is a projection of their own reality, their own preferences, their own dreams. And they are entitled to them. They have no bearing on me.

2. Don’t assign meaning or make assumptions

And in that vein, not being selected doesn’t mean I’m no good or not talented or not likeable. It doesn’t mean I’ll never be successful. I won’t make any assumptions regarding future opportunities based on this one disappointment.

3. Identify the blessings or silver linings

It’s not ideal, but look, I got a crash course on how to deal with disappointment and test all I’ve learned (and my next blog post, to boot). You take the good with the bad. I’m sure there are other blessings here I can’t possibly know. Maybe the opportunity wasn’t meant for me and I would have hated it. Maybe I dodged a bullet?

Regardless, I got really far in the process and garnered a lot of valuable experience.

4. Be grateful

Like I always say, there is always something to be grateful for. I am grateful to no longer be in limbo, waiting for a decision. That turned into a terrible distraction.

I am also grateful that although it feels like I lost something, I didn’t really. I am no worse than I was before this. For that I am grateful.

5. Remain optimistic

I won’t allow life’s disappointments to turn me into a cynical pessimist. I will remain optimistic.

6. Brush yourself off

I admit that after zoning out and feeling sorry for myself for an hour or so, I then ate a really big slice of chocolate cake. But then I did brush myself off! I got my bearings and drafted this blog post to help me process my disappointment.

7. Try, try again

Then I identified next steps and immediately tossed my hat back in the ring.

One dropped ball won’t have me swearing off the game of catch. I’ve caught (and dropped) many balls in my life. There will be more balls. And I’ll drop some.

But I have a feeling I’ll catch a really good one soon…

Have anything to add? Let me know in the comments.

Jessica is a certified Integrative Wellness & Life Coach. Click here to contact her for a free consultation.

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Well everyone, I did it! I lost 40 pounds in six months and met my HealthyWage deadline in the nick of time!

I feel wonderful! But I have to admit, those last two weeks were a real struggle, not just physically, but also mentally and emotionally. I still have a ways to go, too. But when I look at those two photos side by side, I feel incredibly accomplished and proud.

Everyone’s support has been invaluable! I can’t thank you enough for your encouragement, positive reinforcement, and all around great energy. It took a village, and I could not have done this without you. THANK YOU.

Inspiration

I’ve been told many times since I posted my victory photo that I am inspiring. That is an incredible thing to hear, and something I do not take lightly. I know better than anyone how difficult substantial weight loss can be. And many people have since emailed me with one question, often written exactly like this:

HOW?!?!?!?!

Like so many others struggling with their weight, I truly feel that I have tried everything. So it’s no surprise to me that people think I may have some secret method they haven’t tried before. The fact is that I don’t. I have been writing about my weight loss journey here for some time now. But it is true that I have had great success with specific tools. So I evaluated all that I’ve done and all that has helped me over the past several months so I could tell you how I lost 40 pounds in six months.

10 Things I Attribute Most to My Weight Loss

1. Cognitive Behavioral Therapy

I know it may be risky to start with this, but please don’t stop reading. Cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) has changed everything for me, and so deserves the top spot on my list. In the simplest terms, CBT is a type of psychotherapy in which negative patterns of thought about the self and the world are challenged in order to alter unwanted behavior patterns. It may sound technical, but it’s not. CBT helped me to identify and understand the destructive thought patterns I was literally trapped in, especially when it came to food and ideas around my body and weight. Read my post Cognitive Therapy for Weight Loss for more information and to see this process at work.

I am absolutely convinced now that true, lasting weight loss must start in the brain. How can we possibly repair our bodies without repairing our thought patterns and habits first?

2. Competition: Fitbit Workweek Hustles

I am a competitive person. Knowing this about myself, I use it to my advantage. I love my Fitbit and diligently track my steps. The first week of January my friend, the talented writer, Glenn Walker invited me to a weekly Fitbit challenge called a Workweek Hustle where up to ten challengers compete for bragging rights. One week of friendly competition turned into six full months! Every week (and many weekends in the Weekend Warrior) a group of Fitbit “friends” compete for a virtual trophy, monitor each other’s progress, and talk a little smack. It has kept me active and getting more than my fair share of daily steps.

Many thanks to my friendly Fitbit community!

3. HealthyWage (Financial incentives)

Last December I made a bet with HealthyWage in order to utilize the power of financial incentives. I honestly don’t think I would have hit that forty pound goal if it weren’t for the $1,548 prize pot at stake. Check out my post Betting on Myself with a Drastic HealthyWager for more details on HealthyWage. And if you sign up for a HealthyWager of your own using this referral link, an extra $40 will be added to each of our prize pots.

4. Meticulous meal planning and preparation

Fail to prepare, prepare to fail. Without my meal plan, I am a sailor at sea without a map. And so every weekend I take the time to meticulously meal plan for the week ahead, including breakfasts, lunches and dinners. It keeps me organized, minimizes stress around food, and prevents unplanned and last minute calls for takeout. (As an added bonus, meal planning also saves us money and prevents food waste. A meal plan makes creating a grocery list a breeze. No more guesswork or buying anything that goes unused.)

5. The support of friends and family

You know those days when you’re really being good and eating well, and then your husband suggests pizza and mozzarella sticks for dinner? Or a girlfriend calls you up and invites you out for wine and nachos?

Me, too… but not these past few months. That’s because my husband, Mike, family and friends have been incredibly supportive and mindful of my goal and desire to eat healthy. Incredibly so!

For example, a few weeks ago I was shredding cauliflower for a cauliflower crust pizza, when Mike said he was going to order his own pizza. I burst into tears. No, it was not an appropriate response, and not fair to Mike, but I couldn’t help it (like I said, weight loss is an emotional journey, too.) I was instantly terrified and didn’t know how I would resist the temptation of his delicious white flour crust pizza next to my cauliflower one.

“Okay, okay,” he said. “I don’t want to eat that though,” he said pointing at the mountain of cauliflower “snow.” “What if I order a wrap? Will that be better for you?” It was, and he did.

When Philadelphia Restaurant Week came around this past winter, Kathy declined my invitation to our traditional lunch.

“You know,” she wrote, “I have given this a lot of thought, even before your fitness/weight loss challenge. And I am going to decline. I will though, include a challenge: let’s look at the menus and see if we can recreate, with healthy/light ingredients some of our favorite dishes. We can recreate restaurant week, and still meet our fitness goals.”

I was so surprised, and then disappointed. Restaurant Week only comes twice a year! I expressed my disappointment, but reluctantly agreed. As usual, she responded with greater wisdom:

“This is where we compare and prioritize what we really want; and make the grown-up choices of how to choose the path that gets us to where we REALLY want to end up in the long term. Is it going to be disappointing along the way as we have to say goodbye to choices we otherwise would have made? Hell yes, darling. That is the pain of being human. I do know though, that God does reward us tenfold; we just never can see it until later. Proud of you!!”

See what I mean about support!?! I consider myself extremely fortunate.

And those are only two of hundreds of examples. It’s my Mom baking me sweet potatoes instead of white; friends running restaurants past me when making plans; my friend, Suzanne picking a place for happy hour that has awesome custom salads; Mike eating what I eat (99% of the time); people giving me the space and time to make good decisions, non-judgement, compassion…

I could NOT have done this without that support and patience and LOVE. Every single one of the most important people in my life wanted me to succeed. And they all did their part to help make it happen.

I wish I could name everyone who was supportive of this challenge personally, but there are far too many of you. Please know that I noticed, and that I appreciate you.

6. No junk food in the house

I could convince myself all day I’ve learned enough and am now strong enough to keep “treats” in the house. Maybe I am, but I see no reason to test myself. All I’d be doing is tempting myself. And decision fatigue happens. Shitty days happen. And it’s best that I don’t have something to reach for in those moments of weakness.

And so I don’t keep junk food in the house. It’s that simple.

7. The adoption of a simple philosophy: “Eat real food, mostly vegetables, not too much.”

Author and activist Michael Pollan wrote that. I have finally succeeded in being turned off by artificial (toxic) foods, flavors, and colorings. If it was made in a plant and has more than ten ingredients, many of which I can’t pronounce, I DON’T EVEN WANT IT. That includes you, Doritos. There are healthier alternatives. Organic non-gmo popcorn sprinkled with nutritional yeast; salt and vinegar potato chips made with only four ingredients, including healthier oil; real ice cream made with real cream… Our food has gotten so far from actual food that it literally turns my stomach. I don’t want it anymore. I’ll take the real food, thank you.

And so that is precisely how and what I eat: real food, mostly vegetables, not too much.

I love to cook, fortunately. I admit that certainly gives me a slight advantage. Our meals consist of real food every day, and yes, lunch and dinner is mostly vegetables. I am also mindful of portion sizes after years of weighing, measuring, and counting calories (which I no longer feel the need to do.) Something I learned the French say has also helped prevent me from eating too much. They don’t use “hungry” and “full” the way we do here in the states, as if there are two only options. They use “hungry” and “without hunger.” That stuck with me. And so now I always try never to eat until I am full and uncomfortable. I eat until I am without hunger.

8. Tracking

I gave up calorie counting several years ago after years of dutifully doing it and seeing no results. I concluded it doesn’t work for me long term and causes me stress. If it works for you, then cool, keep doing it. What does work for me, however, is food journaling. I write down everything I eat every day, as well as my exercise, and I assign myself a grade from A+ through F based on a personal rubric I designed. I calculate an average GPA at the end of every month. (Data nerd, remember?) As you may imagine, this recovering perfectionist strives for A’s and B’s.

Call this the accountability factor. If I eat it, I write it down. And I don’t want some late night binge dragging down my entire GPA.

9. Daily weigh-ins

I weigh myself every single day. And I recently wrote a post 7 Reasons Why I Weigh Myself Every Day, so I will direct you to that for more on why this has been so beneficial.

10. Yoga

It has pained me to give up yoga these past few weeks as I cut my calories so much during crunch time that I didn’t have the strength for class. Now that I have taken the weekend to rest and eat and regain my strength, I am eager to get back to yoga.

Yoga has taught me so much about my body, its limits, and its capabilities. Yoga has helped me feel strong and empowered. Next to walking, it is my favorite form of exercise. Probably because it is so much more than exercise. It is an experience of body, mind and spirit. I enjoy seeing how far my body has come, and what it can now do that it recently could not.

So there you have it. That’s in large part how I lost 40 pounds in six months. My advice: keep trying tips, methods, programs, and tricks until you discover what works for YOU. Tell people your goals so that they can support you in them. We’re all different and motivated by different things. If I learned anything at all, it’s that all journeys must go through a process. We must discover what doesn’t work for us in order to discover what does. Don’t stick with one program because people tell you it’s best if you’re not seeing results. Give yourself the freedom and flexibility to experiment!

After all, that’s what I did for years. And it eventually paid off. That’s how I lost 40 pounds in six months.

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For years I weighed myself religiously every Friday morning. It was something I looked forward to, denying myself the privilege of even a sneak peek any other time throughout the week. This was a rule by which I faithfully abided. Who made the rule? I have no idea. But I remember hearing it throughout my life spoken by my mom, friends’ moms, the gym teacher that doubled as a health class teacher, the people in the Weight Watchers commercials, the guest doctor on Ricki Lake… The message was always the same: weighing yourself more than once a week resulted in weight obsession and demoralizing frustration over naturally occurring fluctuations.

I listened and abided by that rule in a way I only wish I had about the dangers of cigarettes and drugs (and boys). I was convinced that one extra weigh in was a slippery slope to anorexia. And so I listened to all those women and doctors and waited for Friday mornings.

Until April 9, 2016, which was a Saturday. Looking at my years’ worth of carefully logged weights, I can recall precisely what compelled me to break my cardinal rule and weigh myself that morning. You see, the weight that Saturday morning was exactly 2.1 pounds more than the morning before it. I must have gone out that Friday night or over-indulged and my curiosity about the damage got the best of me. It felt like ten pounds and I assumed it would be five or six. But no, it was 2.1. And the very next day? Back to Friday’s weight.

And that brings me to the seven reasons why I weigh myself every day.

1. Weighing myself every day STOPS the obsession and stories around NOT knowing.

This is the reason why it all started. I was convinced I had gained five pounds in one Friday night. I was often convinced of this. And I let the story play on repeat ALL.WEEK.LONG. I guessed and anticipated and obsessed over my weight based on what I ate one day. It was exhausting. Weighing myself stops all of that. And more often than not, I am pleasantly surprised. The stories in our heads are often worse than the reality.

2. One number no longer has the power to ruin my weekends.

There were so many weekends that were literally ruined by my Friday weight. I gave that digital number on the scale the power to set the tone for my entire weekend. That number either validated or condemned my efforts for the entire week before it, deeming it either a success or epic failure. And when it was bad, I carried anger and frustration with me. Especially if I thought I should weigh less than I did. As a result, I often overate that weekend to make myself feel better. And many of us know how well that works…

3. It allows for the detection of weight patterns and trends.

Weighing in once a week doesn’t provide enough data to work with in a productive way, especially if you’re a data nerd like me. All those weeks I thought I did great only to find the same number on the scale come Friday infuriated and demotivated me. Weight fluctuations occur for so many reasons. Maybe on a particular Friday I hadn’t had a bowel movement recently. Or maybe I was retaining water from PMS. There are days that I think the scale should be lower than it is, but it just takes another perfectly normal day, and then boom, my weight drops three pounds. There is not always a rhyme or reason to our weight. But when we weigh ourselves daily and keep notes, we can begin to create a bigger and clearer picture that we can make sense of. Which leads me to number four…

4. Small gains are no longer the end of the world.

When you weigh yourself daily, you come to understand your body, hormonal changes, and natural fluctuations. And when you begin to understand how your body operates, small weight gains no longer signify demoralizing failure.

5. When weighing myself daily I can see just how fast I can lose (or gain) weight.

Weighing in every day keeps me honest. I don’t know about you but I have seen upwards of seven pound weight increases after particularly social weeks. A few of those strung together and you can find yourself in serious trouble. But being armed with daily updates eliminates shocking surprises. The more often you weigh yourself, the less chance there is of weight gain (or loss if that’s what you’re trying to avoid) sneaking up on you.

But if weight loss is your goal, like it is mine, then you can also see how one stellar day of healthy eating, lots of water, and exercise can move the scales in your favor, which is super motivating!

6. I can identify set-points far more easily.

It is really difficult to identify true set-points when you only weigh yourself once a week. I know when I have hit a set point because my weight is the same to the ounce multiple days in a row. And when it does change a little in either direction, it goes right back to that number again. When this happens consistently over the course of two to three weeks, I know I’ve plateaued and need to step up up my game to power through it.

7. Weighing myself every day motivates me to try harder.

I no longer allow myself to indulge early in the week because the saboteur in my brain convinced me I can correct any damage by my Friday weigh-in. Now, every day matters more because every morning I face the reality of my actions from the day before. Weighing myself every day has quieted that voice that tries to bargain and manipulate. “It’s only Monday,” the saboteur would say. “You can totally get a cheeseburger and fries and just be good the rest of the week.” More often than not, I’d listen.

But not anymore. Every day matters.

Is it any wonder why weighing myself only once a week didn’t work for me?

Now trust me when I say that what works for me may NOT work for you. I am simply sharing what DOES work for me, and giving you the permission to try something different. I literally felt wrong when I started weighing myself daily, like I was committing a crime. I reluctantly confessed to my counselor what I had started doing, expecting her to reprimand me for doing something so foolish. But instead, she said, “If that’s what you want to do, try it.”

“Really!” I asked, surprised.

“You need permission? I give you permission.”

And I have been weighing myself daily ever since.

Obviously I am doing lots of other things to help me lose weight. Weighing yourself every day is not the secret to weight loss. But if you are working to lose weight, you may want to give it a try, or maybe start with several times a week. But if your system isn’t broken, then don’t fix it! My previous system of weighing in once a week was broken. And if yours isn’t serving you, then give yourself the permission to try something different, regardless of what you’ve been told.

There are no blanket rules that apply to everyone. And besides, it seems the “rules” are changing. I was happy to see my claim that weighing yourself more often may be beneficial backed up by the latest research. It was revealed at The Obesity Society’s Annual Scientific Meeting that weighing in at least four times a week can help you drop more pounds. According to Shape magazine, other studies have also shown that frequent weigh-ins increase your motivation by helping you monitor your progress. In fact, another quick Google search results in loads of articles suggesting the same thing.

It works for me.

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This post wraps up #BlogMarch2017, a movement created by the lovely Robin Renee to bring people together in order to raise voices for freedom of expression, knowledge, and information. Visit her blog tomorrow for a full recap of the march.

All month I’ve been reading the #BlogMarch2017 posts and have been in awe of people’s stories, their creativity, their voices… But more than anything I’ve been in awe of their courage. Here are people who refuse to remain voiceless in the face of adversity and struggle. Here are people who have the courage to live life by their own terms, be themselves, and speak their truths. And they’re willing to stand up for themselves and others, so that they may do the same.

What I’ve witnessed has reiterated what I already believe with all my heart: that we are not powerless. We are not victims of our circumstances. We have voices, faces, and ideas; strength to overcome and persevere; the freedom to expression and assembly; the right to resources and knowledge, and therefore, we are NOT helpless.

This applies to all struggles, personal, political and otherwise. We need not accept anything that we know in our hearts we cannot accept. We need not continue to surround ourselves with people who do not believe in us or support us. We need not continue to live unhappy, complacent lives. Be it as macro as a President you could never embrace as your own or the attack on women’s rights, or something more personal like a shitty job, toxic relationship or your weight, remember: WE ARE NOT POWERLESS.

Proof We Are Not Powerless

I will prove it.

Think of something you struggle to accept. Perhaps it’s another year at your depressing desk job? The rise in crime in your neighborhood? Another summer spent covered up at the pool because you hate the way you look in a swimsuit? Crippling debt? The attack on women’s rights in the United States? Your elected politicians? Your son’s messy bedroom? An addiction? A racist relative? A trauma from your past?

Some examples appear harder to take on than others, yes? But regardless of how overwhelmingly large your struggle may seem, how frightening, or how difficult, please consider it while I ask you a question: WHAT IS ONE THING YOU CAN DO RIGHT NOW to begin to change, express your feelings, and ultimately take ACTION against that which you cannot accept? In every single example there is at least one thing you can do right now to prove to yourself you are not helpless. It just takes a decision to DO ONE THING.

Things We Can Do

Write a letter or make a phone call, seek out a counselor or a doctor, start a meet-up to bring like-minded people together, throw away the junk food, balance your checkbook, channel your feelings through a creative medium, confide in someone, stand up and speak up! If you feel unempowered and afraid, your first ‘one thing’ may be to speak to someone that is or has been in a similar situation. Maybe it’s even just writing down the words in a journal. Everything in life begins with a first step. It doesn’t matter how small, as long as you use your power and take it.

Although we tend to isolate ourselves in our struggles, know that we are not alone with anything in this world. People all over are experiencing our same struggles. And when people come together, amazing things happen.

Remember, we need not accept anything we know in our hearts we cannot. Regardless of how large, frightening, or difficult the task to change or create change may seem, we are not powerless. There is one thing you can do right now to take action, no matter how small it may seem. And if we all begin to take action, we can set things in motion. If we set things in motion, we can change our lives. And if we can change our lives, we can collectively change the world.

Be sure to visit Robin Renee’s blog on June 1 for a full recap of #BlogMarch2017

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11:15, 12:00, 12:30, 12:45, 1:30, 2:00, 2:15… every time I opened my eyes during a restless sleep it was somehow a perfect quarter. Finally, I rose at 4:00 am, a nice even number for this Gemini. You see, today is my birthday. But it wasn’t excitement that kept me from sound sleep. It was uncertainty over whether or not I would get my birthday wish. And by 4:02 am, it was clear that I wouldn’t.

Writing about Weight

I’m going to do something here I’ve never done before. I’m going to write about my weight. I am going to tell you that I crossed the threshold of 200 pounds in July, 2013 and have been over it ever since, maxing out at a shameful 230 at one point. What I won’t do is go into all the contributing factors that lead to this. Not because they’re necessarily private, but because it all boils down to me numbing myself by stuffing food in my face and pouring alcohol down my throat. It was a stressful, dark, angry few years… I coped with food and drink.

Thanks to therapy and incredible tools, this year has finally been different and I’ve been losing the weight. (I will go into more details on this in another post.) But I’ve been feeling good and working hard and my mind has been working with me, rather than against me. And so I made a birthday wish. All I wanted today was to wake up and get on that scale and see a number under 200. That’s all.

This birthday wish has consumed me, especially these past few days as I made all my last ditch attempts to make my wish come true. That included walking 11 miles yesterday, and ending my day in a sauna. I didn’t care if the number was back up over 200 after breakfast, or even a tall glass of water. I only wanted to see 199.9 for a second, just to know it was possible.

And in case you’re thinking it by now, yes, I know I put a lot of emphasis on weight. I always have. I’ve recently realized I have many limiting beliefs wrapped up in weight and numbers. I am still very much on this journey and I still have a long way to go, particularly in this area. But the fact that I am even writing about it today is significant.

“Weighting”

Back to my wish. Last night, I knew in my heart I wouldn’t make it. I came home from the gym showered and defeated. “Well, that’s it,” I said to Mike. “There’s nothing else I can do but wait and see.” I wasn’t tired, but I was dejected, so I began my restless night in bed.

I worried how I would feel if my gut (no pun intended) was right and I didn’t get my wish. It would certainly put a damper on my birthday. Probably not wise to start my 35th year throwing a scale and crying in a heap on the floor. I worried what I’d write in this birthday post. I didn’t dare draft one word, not knowing what the outcome would be or how I would possibly feel.

And so at 4:00 am I woke up, used the bathroom, stripped off my clothes and got on the scale. It was a number this Gemini could appreciate. A nice even 202.

I must have matured a bit over my restless night between 34 and 35 because I didn’t kick the scale or cry, or even curse, or feel anything really. In fact, I felt… satisfied? It was like, “Okay, now let’s get on with our day.” I had put so much emphasis on this one second of my birthday and it was over in an instant. I immediately realized that I still got to see a number I hadn’t seen in years (8/22/13 to be exact) and I still managed to lose 7.3 lbs. in 10 days (which is awesome for me).

I didn’t get my wish. But the truth is that I feel great. And I am comforted by knowing I tried my hardest and didn’t give up. I’ll get there. By my estimates, factoring adding back on some water weight and birthday plans, it will take a little over a week. I’m down 28 pounds so far for the year. That’s something to be proud of. I have until the end of June to get down to 190 in order to collect my $1,500 from HealthyWage. (Sign up for HealthyWage by May 30 using this link and add $40 to each of our prize pots in the process.) I’ll get there, too.

34 was a good year. Most significantly, I quit smoking, and continued to come home to myself. I published Questions For Life, traveled to two new places, and started my Integrative Wellness and Life Coaching certification training. I’m proud of myself. And I’m excited for what 35 will bring. After all, I know I can do hard things.

And as for the rest of my birthday, I’m officially on staycation through Monday! I have assorted lovely plans I am very much looking forward to, including lots of time for exercise and catching up on good old fashioned magazines while laying in my hammock. Ahhh… bliss.

Thank you, thank you, thank you for spending another year with me on this journey.

P.S. Questions For Life: Two Year Guided Daily Journal For Intentional Living is still on sale for $15.99 but only through May 31! Order your copy today. And remember, it makes an awesome gift!

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Dear Jessica,

I know you had a long week and you’re tired. But yoga would be a great way to end your week. Go to yoga class because it makes you feel wonderful. Then you can come home, take a nice shower, get into your pajamas, and enjoy a comfortable, well-deserved Friday night on the couch cuddling with Cooper. You got this.

I found that note on my bed when I got home from work. My yoga clothes were laid out neatly beside it, as was my mat. The note was signed: Love, Past Jessica.

I wrote the note to myself that morning knowing full well how I would feel later: TIRED. So I gave my future self the gift of motivation and encouragement. I read the note and thanked my past self for the reminder, changed into my yoga clothes, grabbed my mat, and went to yoga class. Past Jessica was right – it did make me feel wonderful.

You can motivate and encourage your future self this way, too. I started leaving notes to my future self over the past few months when I knew I’d need some support and encouragement. So far, it has helped me do whatever my past self lovingly encouraged me to do. That’s the key – the notes must be supportive and loving. Who feels motivated by a note that begins Dear Fat Fuck… or Dear Lazy Ass… I know I don’t.

I finally have my own back and I like to prove it to myself. I have tried relying on others to encourage and support me but it is unfair to ask so much of them. I’m sure poor Mike recalls all the times he tried to wake me to go to the gym at 5:00 am. “I’m tired,” I’d whine, pulling the covers over my head. Then later, when I woke up, “Oh my God, Mike! Why didn’t you get me up to go to the gym!?” Then it would somehow be his fault. Is it any wonder he stopped volunteering for the job? (sorry, Mike)

No. Motivating and encouraging me is MY job. But since I’m not always good at it, I leave it to past Jessica to do the work. So I leave myself notes when I think I’ll need the help.

Try it out!

1. Grab yourself a colorful notebook or post-its, and some markers. Or heck, smooth out a crumpled receipt and grab a pen, anything you can find. Think about what you want to accomplish that you may need some encouragement for… homework, eat a healthy meal, work out, etc. Now write yourself a note. Just be sure to do it LOVINGLY.

Here’s the one I wrote for myself this morning and left on my bed:

2. Next, be sure to leave your note in a spot where you will see it when you need to. If it’s a reminder to eat a healthy meal, stick it on the fridge. If it’s to go to the gym on the way home from work, then don’t leave it home. Leave it on your driver’s seat so you see it before you even start your car.

3. To make the note even more helpful, leave whatever you may need with the note: your gym clothes, a recipe, your textbook, the phone number of the person you’ve been putting off calling…

Leaving a loving note for yourself is a quick and easy way to motivate and encourage your future self. Try it out and let me know how it works for you!

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My to-do list is long and I have many competing priorities at the moment. I’ve been feeling overwhelmed again. There is a tensity in my body. This uncomfortable sensation is a warning and a reminder that I need to focus, re-evaluate, and most of all, start minimizing priorities. Because everything can’t be a priority. Right?

Right.

What Are Our Priorities?

When we have many priorities, it’s safe to say that we don’t have priorities at all. We have a list of things competing for our attention that we should be doing. In fact, the word priority was only ever used singularly until the 20th century. I have lots of things I consider important to me. There are also lots of tasks I’d love to cross off my to-do list. But I need to own up to the fact that they are not all imperative at this moment, and that I am not focusing on what actually is most critical.

According to The Minimalists, our priorities are how we spend our time.

“Your priorities are what you do each day, the small tasks that move forward the second and minute hands on the clock: these circadian endeavors are your musts. Everything else is simply a should.”

Every day I tell myself I “must” work on my integrative and life coaching certification coursework. Yet every day for the past several days it has been nothing more than a lingering “should” gnawing at me. I allow other things to become higher priorities. At the start of 2017 I committed to the goal of finishing the first draft of my novel by the end of the year. I considered it one of my top priorities. But if actions speak louder than words, which they do, I am nothing more than an aspiring novel writer considering I haven’t spent more than ten hours on it yet so far this year. Clearly, I haven’t made my novel a priority.

My Real Priorities (according to how I spend my time):

If our priorities are determined by how we spend our time like The Minimalists say, then my real priorities have been: my day job, walking, my garden, meal planning and cooking, cleaning out my email inbox, going to yoga classes, spending time on Facebook, Instagram, and Pinterest, cleaning, reading, writing blog posts, sleeping and socializing.

Nowhere in that list is my novel or my coursework. So until I am willing to MAKE them priorities, my claim is a lie. I can only make those things a priority by setting the time aside and minimizing the less important false priorities that I have allowed to distract me and steal my time away.

Does This Belong?

So clearly I need to refocus and become the master of my own time. I need to do as Bruce Lee says and hack away at the inessentials.

“It is not a daily increase, but a daily decrease. Hack away at the inessentials.” – Bruce Lee

Patrick Rhone poses a question in his book, Enough. That is: Is this where this belongs? Clearly I am spending my time on things that don’t belong: cleaning out my email inbox and falling down the rabbit hole of social media are the two most glaring. As for the cleaning, I have been enjoying spring cleaning. But clearly I have chosen a bad time to wash my windows, blinds and curtains for the first time in nearly six years. They’ve waited this long, I think they can wait a tad bit longer. Therefore, clean windows does not belong in my list of top priorities.

My top priority is hands down my health and weight loss efforts. Thankfully, this is actually demonstrated in the time I spend walking, going to yoga classes, and meal planning and cooking (yay me!). Those things stay. Social media as a distraction and pacifier has to go. It adds value to my life when I use it intentionally, but otherwise it is nothing but a thief of my time.

Unfortunately my day job also has to stay (unless someone wants to support me? I didn’t think so.) As for the other things, I just need to prioritize and ask myself what belongs where. Gardening can’t be done in the dark or in the rain, allowing time for other things. I can say no to more social engagements. I can get up earlier. And I can commit to staying up an hour later or forfeiting that last half hour of the day unwinding in front of the television. Television doesn’t belong in my list of priorities. Sleeping does belong, but perhaps not as much.

Your Turn

If, like me, you’ve been finding yourself  overwhelmed lately, think of your priorities. Then be honest with yourself about how you really spend your time. THOSE are your actual priorities.

They all don’t belong, do they?

Go ahead and hack away at the inessentials. I will be doing the same. It’s time to start minimizing priorities and prioritizing properly.

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